Friday, June 19, 2009

Trying to move on

Its been a bit since i posted about loosing my dad. well it hasent been easy trying to fill his shoes. i dont know how he did it all these years. i have no idea how to be the man of the house. i really got to hand it to my brother next door (what not to do on a bike post, lol) he has been alot of help. he jumps right in to pick up my slack. i dont know what i would do with out him next door. THANKS ROB.

i didnt just loose my dad. i lost my best friend. we worked together for 4 to 5 years, every day. when work was over we went home and worked on projects around the house. we pretty much spent day and night around each other. i told him everything that was going on in my life. even stuff that people told me not to tell anyone else, i told him. what i told him to my knowledge stayed with him. he never once judged me for any crazy idea i had. even taking a junk camper all the way to Indy to trade for a couple junk dirtbikes. he did it without a complant (other than my truck didnt have cruise control). he did more for me than any other person in my life. since the day that i met him some 15 years or so ago, he has always been there. teaching me (sometimes without me knowing it) what it ment to be a man. now i know i didnt pay enough attention to his lessons. there are some stories that he told me that i will never repeat to anyone. stuff that he didnt tell anyone else, that is the stuff that i cherish the most.

i seem to be just going day to day. not really knowing were im going. it seems as if im working toward a goal that i just dont know what it is. it never seems to end. i just hope one day, one day soon, that i can figure out where im going and not just were ive been.

1 comment:

The Traveler said...

It will take time, but things will get better for you, I know that they will. Know that I'm thinking of you, Sonja